But today I failed my cleanse. It was such a terrible experience. I wanted it to be great. I wanted to feel as if I was ridding my body of toxins and bad energy and finding a new sense of self in the purge. I didn't. It was terrible. I woke up feeling hungry. Did my salt cleanse and felt so ill afterwards. I sat on the toilet for about an hour (not feeling healthy in my purging... sorry for the details) and then had to go back sleep for about 45 mins because I felt so nauseous and tired. I woke up feeling a little bit better but not great and started to drink the lemonade. I drank it all day long and especially drank it when I got hungry, as advised. Basically, the hunger never went away. I was painfully hungry and weak all day long.
Then it was time for my nighttime Bikram class. I knew that if I didn't eat something, I would most definitely pass out in Bikram (considering I almost pass out all the time even when I'm eating perfectly normal! and not pooping out my entire being that same morning) ... the class is far too intense. So I had to decide. Did I want to stay with the cleanse, which was making me feel miserable, or eat something and to the Bikram Yoga cleanse which is routine and important to me. You can guess what won (based upon the title of this blog). I so wanted the cleanse to work. I wanted to cleanse myself of impurities I had been subjecting myself to over the last year and start fresh. But this particular cleanse is not the way for me...
I am interested to hear how my Hippie Lawyer friend does on her cleanse and if it turns out to be a little kinder on the body than this one. If so, I will try that cleanse sometime in the near future. Or another one... possibly a raw food cleanse which I have heard is also quite gratifying and food IS actually still involved.
Ok, enough from me. Tomorrow morning I am meeting a friend for breakfast. There will be food involved, but maybe I'll skip the coffee and opt for tea... healthier, less toxic options... one step at a time.
2 comments:
oh honey, don't view this as failure. You made a choice. A healthy and rational choice. Sometimes when things feel horrible it is a sign that you should not continue with them. Isn't that what you learned from work in 2007. You have to cleanse in a way that works for you, not for someone else. I have always been a green tea drinker but recently (due to our house being freezing) I have been drinking upwards of 10 cups a day (mostly decaf). It has actually made me feeling healthier and more energentic and has become something I really enjoy for those reasons. If yoga is what heals you and makes you feel healthy and strong then that is what matters. There are many ways to purge ourselves of negative things in our lives. Making the decision to follow your dreams is the first step to purging yourself of the negatives that were in your life. I love you!
I read a lot about the master cleanse after it kind of came back in fashion last year. And to be honest, there seems nothing healthy to be about ingesting salt water, shitting your large intestine out and then drinking maple syrup. I'm glad you chose to listen to your body!!! A cleanse does not need to be so severe as to induce weakness, fatigue and nausea. You will find the right balance to rid yourself of toxins. And I'm sure Bikram was by far the healthier choice.
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