Too Long

I’m sorry. I’ve neglected you blog, you friends, and myself. Funny that I stopped writing when I got happy - stopped resorting to you as a seatbelt once the turbulence stopped. Catching up would be insane at this point so let me do highlights again, to get back on track.

First and foremost, I am happy still… despite some romantic turbulence these days (namely with Love, but I’ll explain more later).

Please excuse the brevity of these details, but I’m on a plane to Frankfurt right now and am a little sleepy and the only thing standing between me and my nap is writing this entry. J

I started up with Staff again. I was in Stamford, CT for a while and then was sent to Atlanta, GA where I spent the majority for the last 3 months. And it’s been good. So good. I loved, no adored, my team. They were easy to work with, light hearted, great team players and open and positive. My manager was a great resource and a saving grace for me. I had found my place. The work was interesting enough, but the team made it all worth while, even when it wasn’t good. Amazing the effect a solid team can have.

I’m being sent to Moscow, Russia now though. We have one month left on this review and I’m being sent there to help another team out. I have very specific areas to help out with, though, so the work should be do-able and I know the guys on the team I’m going to. And I like and respect them quite a bit- as I do the manager. So let’s hope it’s a good month.

Love ended things with me. He decided he didn’t want the distance and he didn’t want to wait for me any longer. I can’t fault him. I probably wouldn’t wait for me either considering how many times I’ve changed my mind about leaving staff and then coming back and joining again. But his ability to not really commit to it makes me wonder if he was really ready for it at all- even if I had gone back to him. The maturity issue again… the idea that he never really dated anyone else. I hope he finds what he’s looking for without me- because God knows I’m still looking for something. I don’t know what it is just yet, but staying happy is the goal this year. So I’m still working through that. I miss him. I miss him like mad. But he needs to take care of himself. And I can understand that. I love him.

My Mom says we have three loves: Your first love. The love you marry and make a family with. And your true love. If you’re a lucky, the same man is all three of these loves... but sometimes there is a different man for each one. I think Love was my first love. I don’t know yet if he’ll be the other two but I do know that I’ve hit a phase in my life where I’m now looking for the man to marry and make a family with. I’m ready for that when I finish with staff. I want to start that phase. I feel it pulling me now… still a ways off, but I’m ready.

I did meet a boy in Atlanta that has potential. Let’s call him my Southern Hottie, because good lord he is hot. And a GOOD ‘OL BOY. From small town Georgia… football player at Georgia Tech. A true man’s man. Was a rock star at everything he laid his hands on in High School… one of those kinds of kids- Valedictorian, 3-sport athlete, Eagle Scout, super good looking, good family. Then he was hit with Hotchkin’s disease in College and it rocked his world and really changed him and now he questions his small town conservative background. It still defines him but getting his MBA, living in Atlanta and the sickness opened his eyes. He’s different. He wants to be challenged now and learn and not be small town conservative anymore…I can see it in him which is one of the reasons I think he’s attracted to me. But he’s still very drawn to the small town…

I’ve just been reading over this and realize it sounds like I’m talking about my boyfriend. Let me confirm that is NOT the case. I like him. And we’ll see where it goes, but he’s not mine. And I’m not his. But I am interested to see what comes of it. We’ll stay in touch long distance- but not committed.

Oh, the physical is great too. Really good. I’m obscenely attracted to him.

But on to Moscow, Russia. I’ll have more updates soon. And I promise to be better again. Keeping in touch like a good friend. Don’t be a bad friend.