It may appear as if I’m far removed from that original plan I had to open a coffee house/bistro, but it still lives in me. I still want to build the community. I still want to roast coffee and prepare baked goods for my customers. I still want to have ownership over my own place and make the decisions and present things I love: food, coffee and wine. I still want to serve people. It still makes me happy.
I’m sitting in a little coffee house right now that bakes it’s own goodies and roasts it’s own coffee. It has a wonderful ora about it. I can see myself here. Doing this exact same thing and making the environment even more open and welcoming. Serving people. Roasting my own beans. I can see it.
I’m in Portland, OR this weekend. I’m here to run the same road race I did here last year: Hood to Coast. It’s a 12 person, 24 hour relay race in which I will run 3 legs: a 6-miler, another 6-miler and a 4-miler. I hope I don’t fall apart. Similar to last year, I haven’t been able to train as much as I would have liked to: ah audit staff. But at least I don’t have the 6 mile downhill killer leg. That should help a little. I’m banking on being able to maintain between 7-7:30 minute miles. I’d be happy if I could average the 7:30s. I’d like to remember more of the race this year. Last year, I had a great time but so much was happening in life (i.e. I had flown in from Florence for the race and went directly to conference once I finished) that I can barely remember it. I have pictures, and that’s about it. That’s the extent of my memories. I’m going to be focused on remember it this year. The scenery, the people, the experience of the race. I want to capture it all… in my mind, not just on a camera.
On a different note, I now live in New York City. Isn’t that crazy!? I have a home and an apartment there. It’s where I will fly to after this race on Sunday morning. To my home. Given, it’s still in shambles with boxes all over the place and not enough shelves/drawers/space to put things away! But there is a bed, a stocked kitchen, a BBQ, a great big shower and a boy. A boy who is waiting for me and write things to me like: “I love you and will be waiting in New York to help you celebrate your team’s strong finish.” He was supposed to be here this weekend to cheer but wasn’t able to make it because of work stuff. He’s trying to be supportive from a far.
Lark is trying to figure out what his next professional steps will be. He’s a little lost and isn’t sure exactly what he’s going to do. I am trying to stay open and positive but the opportunities range from New York, to Florence to Atlanta, GA. He says he won’t move without me. It’s hard for me because it limits me from thinking about my future and next steps because I can’t, really, until he knows what he’s going to do and I figure out if I can make it with him… those next steps. It’s scary. I’ve never had to make sacrifices before that pull me in one direction or the other. And now I may have to. I know I’ll be working in Stamford, CT (hopefully commuting back and forth to the apt in NYC as much as possible) until January. I hope we’re able to stay in one place for a while. I want to explore and love New York.
But for this weekend, I’ll be exploring and loving Oregon. Feels so comfortable here. Feels as if I belong. Maybe I can convince Lark to find something in Oregon… hmmm……
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